Sonnet Analysis
Kainoa Crowell
Victory
As I step on the field preparing for war
I think about the game I am about to play
I think of it as a pleasure, not as a chore
We prepare for these games everyday
I worked hard for this moment, can’t let it go
The whistle blows and the battle is on
Most of the game, the scoring was low
Needed a touchdown soon, we threw it to Sean
He caught the ball and ran it to the end zone description?
This touchdown would be the winning one
Our team celebrated in a triumphant tone
The bus ride back, we shared jokes and had some fun description?
The feeling of victory is oh so sweet
The greatest thrill that can never be beat
The only pay off for training vigorously for 12 months, non-stop is the reward of winning a game. The goal in every game created is to win. Especially in football, victory is so special because you work so hard to prepare for the games and you give it your all during the game. If you lose, you feel like you did all of that labor for nothing. You feel deflated, but if you win you are ecstatic, and you know that all the strenuous work you have done was well worth it. This poem, in particular, is about one of my football games from last year’s football season. We were playing a tough St. Louis team and the game was exciting to the very end. (weird ending)
The beginning lines of my sonnet talk about how whenever I step onto the football field, I mentally prepare for a game. It is like a war. I think of my team as my army fighting against the opposition, the cause we fight for is Punahou. Before I step on the field I question myself what is my assignment and what do I need to get done in this game. Then like a weathered veteran who has been in many battles before I think of this game, this battle, as a pleasure, not as a job that I was forced to do. Also, like in any army, I worked hard for this battle and this game and I am in it to win. I worked tedious hours every day, training to lead my team to victory, I cannot let all I have learned slip away from me. I need to use those skills and put them to work to win this thing.
The second part of this sonnet talks about the actual game. The defense held the offense to no points for both teams for the duration of the game. By about half time my teammates and I knew this was going to be a tough game. We went out the second half fired up and ready to demolish. However we were shutdown the whole third quarter and the score remained zero to zero. The fourth quarter started slow then about half way through it, the Crusaders kicked a field goal that put them up 3-0. We never lost hope and continued on in our fighting, trying to beat these guys. The final quarter was coming to an end and we need to score or we would lose the game. Our coach decided that we should give the ball to one of our playmakers and star wide receiver Sean McFadden. Sean was famous for his amazing catches that came at clutch situations such as the one at hand. He was getting shutdown all day but he was due for a big catch. We threw the ball up to him near the end zone and he caught it. He ran it to the end zone for the touchdown. His touchdown, which was the last one of the game, gave us the win. The greatest wins of all are the ones you have to work for. This game was very much so one of those games.
The final part of my sonnet talks about the sweet feeling of victory. Winning in any game at any level is always a good feeling. However you cannot slack off or avoid practice then expect to win a game. In football my team had to work very hard daily for nearly 5 months. All this work helped us to prepare for our win. Hard work also contributes to the excellent feeling of victory because you realize that all the work you put in really contributed to winning the game and your performance. However a team cannot win only. Good teams learn a lot not from winning lots of games, but actually by losing. By losing, they know what they have done wrong and they can adjust it. So no matter how discouraging losing is or how phenomenal winning is, losing a game is crucial for learning what you did wrong and becoming a better team or player. Although losing can teach you a lot, the bottom line is you always strive to win and when you capture it, it is the sweetest accomplishment of them all.
Kainoa,
Your subject was perfect for you, I could tell that football really means a lot to you. In your sonnet on lines 9 and 12 I found the words to not be quite descriptive enough, there wasn’t enough emotion. But over all you sonnet was great. In your analysis paper the ideas were good but I felt like you didn’t express them well so I changed some words and reordered some sentences for more flow. In your analysis you broke down your sonnet well but the only thing I would add is if your sonnet could expand and be a metaphor for other things in life. In the beginning of your paper you seemed to be focusing on training and how hard work and sacrifices gets you rewards, but then you ended your paper with how losing teaches you how to win. These ideas are slightly different could you smooth it out with a connection or something?
Awesome Job! Leilani Doktor
Score: 90
Friday, April 20, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Analyzed Sonnet
Leilani Doktor
8:30 English
A Correlation or Infatuation
Your confidence is something to be admired
And no one doubts your physicality.
If t'were a man better, I'd most certain be inspired.
If only the world shadowed your perfect civility.
I have never been known to have low standards.
To others I can't disguise your insufficiency.
But my infatuation, twisted as a 1000 lanyards.
You've traveled the path to my heart with efficiency.
I've caught you stealing glances, signs of adoration?
I'm guilty; subtle looks-hints a complex feeling.
Do these scarce moments show a correlation?
Our upholding layers of insecurity peeling.
I've fallen hard and throwing my sense out the door.
Now I'm hoping you catch me before I hit the floor.
The Analyzation of A Correlation or Infatuation
The idea of my sonnet was love, and how in love you can't be logical you just have to follow your heart. I think that my sonnet is telling the story of a person who is arguing about all the insecurities in love. Even in all the obstacles such as other peoples opinions and her own inability to fall into love, she discovers that she just has to jump into the unknown and hope it all turns out ok.
In the first stanza the sonnet begins with praises of the person, because a person always wants to point out what they like in the other person. I started with what I noticed first in the person, his air and confidence. Then moved on to of course the obvious physical aspects of the guy, and in the last two lines I expressed how in a total package I admired him and wish that other people could be the same.
Then the sonnet flows into how even though she thinks so highly of this person others do not see why she is so deeply in love. Even through these taunts she comes out with how she can't help her feeling towards this guy. In the last stanza the poet expresses her insecurities in how the other person feels, and asks if they feel the same. These are feelings that happen in every love, and it is well know that there is going to be doubt in any relationship. This allows the sonnet to come the final conclusion that you cannot be sure if your love is reciprocated.
The last two lines of the sonnet are what really show the vulnerability and willingness of the poet. In flatly stating, "I've fallen hard" she is saying in the most open way that she really loves this person. Also the metaphor of throwing her sense out the door allows the reader to see that she is abandoning all her thought and any inhibitions, which is perfect for these emotions. But after allowing herself to be out there and so vulnerable just like any person in love the poet is hoping that her love will be reciprocated. I used the idea of falling in love from before to be reverberated in the last line by referring to being caught before I hit the floor, also allowing a little romantic flare of having the one you love catch you and be your support.
I tried to write this poem to echo what any person would feel in the beginning of a relationship, a certain amount of insecurity and some pure infatuation. This awe of a person is usually seen as puppy love or being blinded by love, but in some ways this innocent love is the lightest and most enjoyable to write about. Reading through the sonnet you can see and feel the certain emotion or idea running through each stanza. The lines go back and forth between this poet's love and her uncertainty. I tried to capture this but had a difficult time with the ten syllables, after many revisions I was able to cut down the poem to its bare bones, which I think helps bring out the emotions in each line and allows only the purest ideas to shine through. In the last two lines you can see the realization that the poet has, she realizes she can't be logical in love but just fall in love because love is something you need to take chances in and its well worth the risk.
8:30 English
A Correlation or Infatuation
Your confidence is something to be admired
And no one doubts your physicality.
If t'were a man better, I'd most certain be inspired.
If only the world shadowed your perfect civility.
I have never been known to have low standards.
To others I can't disguise your insufficiency.
But my infatuation, twisted as a 1000 lanyards.
You've traveled the path to my heart with efficiency.
I've caught you stealing glances, signs of adoration?
I'm guilty; subtle looks-hints a complex feeling.
Do these scarce moments show a correlation?
Our upholding layers of insecurity peeling.
I've fallen hard and throwing my sense out the door.
Now I'm hoping you catch me before I hit the floor.
The Analyzation of A Correlation or Infatuation
The idea of my sonnet was love, and how in love you can't be logical you just have to follow your heart. I think that my sonnet is telling the story of a person who is arguing about all the insecurities in love. Even in all the obstacles such as other peoples opinions and her own inability to fall into love, she discovers that she just has to jump into the unknown and hope it all turns out ok.
In the first stanza the sonnet begins with praises of the person, because a person always wants to point out what they like in the other person. I started with what I noticed first in the person, his air and confidence. Then moved on to of course the obvious physical aspects of the guy, and in the last two lines I expressed how in a total package I admired him and wish that other people could be the same.
Then the sonnet flows into how even though she thinks so highly of this person others do not see why she is so deeply in love. Even through these taunts she comes out with how she can't help her feeling towards this guy. In the last stanza the poet expresses her insecurities in how the other person feels, and asks if they feel the same. These are feelings that happen in every love, and it is well know that there is going to be doubt in any relationship. This allows the sonnet to come the final conclusion that you cannot be sure if your love is reciprocated.
The last two lines of the sonnet are what really show the vulnerability and willingness of the poet. In flatly stating, "I've fallen hard" she is saying in the most open way that she really loves this person. Also the metaphor of throwing her sense out the door allows the reader to see that she is abandoning all her thought and any inhibitions, which is perfect for these emotions. But after allowing herself to be out there and so vulnerable just like any person in love the poet is hoping that her love will be reciprocated. I used the idea of falling in love from before to be reverberated in the last line by referring to being caught before I hit the floor, also allowing a little romantic flare of having the one you love catch you and be your support.
I tried to write this poem to echo what any person would feel in the beginning of a relationship, a certain amount of insecurity and some pure infatuation. This awe of a person is usually seen as puppy love or being blinded by love, but in some ways this innocent love is the lightest and most enjoyable to write about. Reading through the sonnet you can see and feel the certain emotion or idea running through each stanza. The lines go back and forth between this poet's love and her uncertainty. I tried to capture this but had a difficult time with the ten syllables, after many revisions I was able to cut down the poem to its bare bones, which I think helps bring out the emotions in each line and allows only the purest ideas to shine through. In the last two lines you can see the realization that the poet has, she realizes she can't be logical in love but just fall in love because love is something you need to take chances in and its well worth the risk.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Sonnet
A Correlation or Infatuation
Your confidence is something to be admired
And no one doubts your physicality's.
If t'were a man better, I'd most certain be inspired.
If only the world shadowed your perfect civilities.
I have never been known to have low standards.
Even lengthy praises, cannot silence taunts of your insufficiencies.
But my infatuation; twisted as a 1000 lanyards.
You've traveled the path to my heart with efficiency.
I've caught you stealing glances at me, signs of adoration?
I know I'm guilty; subtle looks; hints a complex feeling.
Do these scarce moments show a correlation?
Our upholding layers of insecurity are finally peeling.
My abandoned boldness has been regained; and I'm throwing my sense out the door.
I've fallen for you and all I can do is hope you catch me before I hit the floor.
Your confidence is something to be admired
And no one doubts your physicality's.
If t'were a man better, I'd most certain be inspired.
If only the world shadowed your perfect civilities.
I have never been known to have low standards.
Even lengthy praises, cannot silence taunts of your insufficiencies.
But my infatuation; twisted as a 1000 lanyards.
You've traveled the path to my heart with efficiency.
I've caught you stealing glances at me, signs of adoration?
I know I'm guilty; subtle looks; hints a complex feeling.
Do these scarce moments show a correlation?
Our upholding layers of insecurity are finally peeling.
My abandoned boldness has been regained; and I'm throwing my sense out the door.
I've fallen for you and all I can do is hope you catch me before I hit the floor.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Heritage Paper
English 1 8:30
Scandalous Relationships
I always thought my parent's relationship was a scandalous one. They had met through a mutual friend when my dad, a professor at UH, first met my mom. He was in awe of her natural beauty and immediately chased after her even though they had a 20-year age difference not to mention that she was a new student at his college. But my mom said this was nothing compared to her parents, their relationship was filled with secrets, infidelity, and no one can forget the steamy love letters.
As the story goes, my grandfather, Niko, was the son of the chief of Saleloga village in Western Samoa. One day in that village Niko spotted a divine lady walking down the dirt road toward the store he was managing. He loved how her hair was pinned in luscious swoops and curls about her head and how her dress skimmed her hips as she walked down the only road in the village. Carrying a few books she glided into his store to buy some goods. Immediately Niko began some small talk,
"Hello miss."
"Hey" the lovely lady replied coldly.
"How you doin' today?" Niko replied his eyes burning with desire.
"Hmph, fine thank you." The same icy tone in the woman's voice.
"Please what's your name?" Niko asked meekly.
"Falenu'u." Murmured the woman as she began to leave the store and gracefully continue down the road toward Samoa College where she was hired as a teacher. But Niko's gaze was interrupted by another figure that had just walked in the back door from his hut. His current wife, Leanu, had just finished some more breadfruit and taro that they could sell in the store. Niko gathered the goods and set them out for sale his mind still reeling from his encounter with the beautiful Falenu'u. That day he set out to find his friends in all the other villages to help him find this elusive Falenu'u. After describing her to his buddies one of them recognized the girl. Niko's friend Fasi lived in the same village as Falenu'u so he volunteered to go find out more about her and deliver Niko's messages.
Fasi informed Niko that Falenu'u was Methodist and lived in one of the churches boarding houses. Niko was in trouble now because not only was he a Catholic, but those Methodist boarding houses were impossible to get into unless you were a pastor or girl resident. So Niko devised a plan, when the girls would go into the church to pray Fasi would pull Falenu'u to the side and slip her a letter from Niko. The first letter read this:
Dear Falenu'u, I haven’t been able to forget you since our meeting in my store.
Please understand that I need to see you again.
Ignore all the obstacles in the way, your church, my wife.
They are mere barriers in our path of love.
Passionately, Niko Amulua Lilomaiava
Falenu'u was utterly flabbergasted by his open expression of love for her and further avoided Niko and his village even more. There was so many other things that were wrong with the situation other than what Niko had mentioned, the biggest one being Falenu'u was engaged to a pastor of her very own Methodist Church. Soon this engagement was announced to the entire village and in a flash Fasi was over to Niko informing him of the terrible news. Now Niko was doomed to watch his love get married off to another man.
But in a sweeping act of fate the very day Niko boarded the ferry to cross the channel to the main island of Upolu on chief business Falenu'u was boarding the same ferry to visit some of her friends on Upolu. As Niko spotted Falenu'u on the dock his heart leapt sky high. He raced over to her and began to again attempt to flirt with her. But this time she was even colder in her response. Falenu'u knew he was married and that she was engaged, but she also knew he was going to be the head chief of Savai'i and Samoa one day. So she eventually warmed up to him and their conversation began to flow just as the ocean they were sailing over. After the good hour trip across the channel Falenu'u and Niko parted, Falenu'u gracefully glided away to her destination as Niko watched her hair now pinned elegantly in the back with flowers and raven black curls falling down her back, all the while her dress skimming her curvy hips.
When Niko returned to Saleloga he knew what action needed to be taken. He immediately wrote a lengthy but urgent letter to Falenu'u, expressing every feeling he had for her and his deep resentment for her engagement and promised that he would divorce his wife as soon as she would agree to give her hand in marriage to him. He ran over to Fasi and directed him to give Falenu'u this letter as soon as he saw her no matter what. Fasi agreed and ran over to the church where the girls were praying. Fasi stood in the back of the church trying to catch Falenu'u's attention with various whispers.
"Psh, Psh, Psh, Falenu'u! PSHHHHH."
"Eh Fasi whatchu doin' here get out!"
"No, Falenu'u come get this."
"Eh stupid head you wanna get me in trouble?"
"No, NO. This is from Niko come get it!"
"WHAT don't say HIS name! Ok I'll get it, wait right there."
Falenu'u shuffled to the back of the church and snatched the letter from Fasi's hands. Fasi snickered as Falenu'u took the letter back to her seat and began to read it. As the blood drained from her face and returned again, Fasi sprinted back to Niko and told him she had read the letter. Niko's stomach was flipping as he waited for her answer but he knew he had to get rid of his wife and kids soon if he was going to marry Falenu'u. So Niko went and consulted his father, consequently his father agreed to take his wife back to her home village with the children for a "trip". Soon the wife and kids were packed and on the ferry back to Upolu while Niko left for Falenu'u's village ready to marry the love of his life. He went into to her courtyard and swept her out to the Methodist church where he promised he would marry her.
Falenu'u's family was overjoyed that she was marrying the future high chief of Savai'i, one of the most honored families in all Western Samoa. Then after a few days honeymoon Niko's now ex-wife returned from her trip to find Falenu'u living and taking care of her hut. Leanu was so shocked she just collapsed on the mats and there Falenu'u explained that Niko's love for her had ended. Falenu'u also promised that she would take good care of Leanu and Niko's kids if Leanu couldn’t care for them. She also said that Niko would be much happier with her since he need support to be a good chief and a teacher is better support than a house wife. After that Leanu returned to her home village with her six children and Falenu'u and Niko lived happily ever after with 11 children.
This story is an important part of my heritage because not only is it a very interesting story but it helps me understand that my family has always been one that persevered and through determination got what they wanted. It also shows that true love is very important in my family since the past couple generations have crossed many obstacles to find it. Not to mention that the women of my family have a habit of making their husbands work for their marriages.
Scandalous Relationships
I always thought my parent's relationship was a scandalous one. They had met through a mutual friend when my dad, a professor at UH, first met my mom. He was in awe of her natural beauty and immediately chased after her even though they had a 20-year age difference not to mention that she was a new student at his college. But my mom said this was nothing compared to her parents, their relationship was filled with secrets, infidelity, and no one can forget the steamy love letters.
As the story goes, my grandfather, Niko, was the son of the chief of Saleloga village in Western Samoa. One day in that village Niko spotted a divine lady walking down the dirt road toward the store he was managing. He loved how her hair was pinned in luscious swoops and curls about her head and how her dress skimmed her hips as she walked down the only road in the village. Carrying a few books she glided into his store to buy some goods. Immediately Niko began some small talk,
"Hello miss."
"Hey" the lovely lady replied coldly.
"How you doin' today?" Niko replied his eyes burning with desire.
"Hmph, fine thank you." The same icy tone in the woman's voice.
"Please what's your name?" Niko asked meekly.
"Falenu'u." Murmured the woman as she began to leave the store and gracefully continue down the road toward Samoa College where she was hired as a teacher. But Niko's gaze was interrupted by another figure that had just walked in the back door from his hut. His current wife, Leanu, had just finished some more breadfruit and taro that they could sell in the store. Niko gathered the goods and set them out for sale his mind still reeling from his encounter with the beautiful Falenu'u. That day he set out to find his friends in all the other villages to help him find this elusive Falenu'u. After describing her to his buddies one of them recognized the girl. Niko's friend Fasi lived in the same village as Falenu'u so he volunteered to go find out more about her and deliver Niko's messages.
Fasi informed Niko that Falenu'u was Methodist and lived in one of the churches boarding houses. Niko was in trouble now because not only was he a Catholic, but those Methodist boarding houses were impossible to get into unless you were a pastor or girl resident. So Niko devised a plan, when the girls would go into the church to pray Fasi would pull Falenu'u to the side and slip her a letter from Niko. The first letter read this:
Dear Falenu'u, I haven’t been able to forget you since our meeting in my store.
Please understand that I need to see you again.
Ignore all the obstacles in the way, your church, my wife.
They are mere barriers in our path of love.
Passionately, Niko Amulua Lilomaiava
Falenu'u was utterly flabbergasted by his open expression of love for her and further avoided Niko and his village even more. There was so many other things that were wrong with the situation other than what Niko had mentioned, the biggest one being Falenu'u was engaged to a pastor of her very own Methodist Church. Soon this engagement was announced to the entire village and in a flash Fasi was over to Niko informing him of the terrible news. Now Niko was doomed to watch his love get married off to another man.
But in a sweeping act of fate the very day Niko boarded the ferry to cross the channel to the main island of Upolu on chief business Falenu'u was boarding the same ferry to visit some of her friends on Upolu. As Niko spotted Falenu'u on the dock his heart leapt sky high. He raced over to her and began to again attempt to flirt with her. But this time she was even colder in her response. Falenu'u knew he was married and that she was engaged, but she also knew he was going to be the head chief of Savai'i and Samoa one day. So she eventually warmed up to him and their conversation began to flow just as the ocean they were sailing over. After the good hour trip across the channel Falenu'u and Niko parted, Falenu'u gracefully glided away to her destination as Niko watched her hair now pinned elegantly in the back with flowers and raven black curls falling down her back, all the while her dress skimming her curvy hips.
When Niko returned to Saleloga he knew what action needed to be taken. He immediately wrote a lengthy but urgent letter to Falenu'u, expressing every feeling he had for her and his deep resentment for her engagement and promised that he would divorce his wife as soon as she would agree to give her hand in marriage to him. He ran over to Fasi and directed him to give Falenu'u this letter as soon as he saw her no matter what. Fasi agreed and ran over to the church where the girls were praying. Fasi stood in the back of the church trying to catch Falenu'u's attention with various whispers.
"Psh, Psh, Psh, Falenu'u! PSHHHHH."
"Eh Fasi whatchu doin' here get out!"
"No, Falenu'u come get this."
"Eh stupid head you wanna get me in trouble?"
"No, NO. This is from Niko come get it!"
"WHAT don't say HIS name! Ok I'll get it, wait right there."
Falenu'u shuffled to the back of the church and snatched the letter from Fasi's hands. Fasi snickered as Falenu'u took the letter back to her seat and began to read it. As the blood drained from her face and returned again, Fasi sprinted back to Niko and told him she had read the letter. Niko's stomach was flipping as he waited for her answer but he knew he had to get rid of his wife and kids soon if he was going to marry Falenu'u. So Niko went and consulted his father, consequently his father agreed to take his wife back to her home village with the children for a "trip". Soon the wife and kids were packed and on the ferry back to Upolu while Niko left for Falenu'u's village ready to marry the love of his life. He went into to her courtyard and swept her out to the Methodist church where he promised he would marry her.
Falenu'u's family was overjoyed that she was marrying the future high chief of Savai'i, one of the most honored families in all Western Samoa. Then after a few days honeymoon Niko's now ex-wife returned from her trip to find Falenu'u living and taking care of her hut. Leanu was so shocked she just collapsed on the mats and there Falenu'u explained that Niko's love for her had ended. Falenu'u also promised that she would take good care of Leanu and Niko's kids if Leanu couldn’t care for them. She also said that Niko would be much happier with her since he need support to be a good chief and a teacher is better support than a house wife. After that Leanu returned to her home village with her six children and Falenu'u and Niko lived happily ever after with 11 children.
This story is an important part of my heritage because not only is it a very interesting story but it helps me understand that my family has always been one that persevered and through determination got what they wanted. It also shows that true love is very important in my family since the past couple generations have crossed many obstacles to find it. Not to mention that the women of my family have a habit of making their husbands work for their marriages.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
