Sonnet Analysis

Kainoa Crowell


Victory

As I step on the field preparing for war
I think about the game I am about to play
I think of it as a pleasure, not as a chore
We prepare for these games everyday

I worked hard for this moment, can’t let it go
The whistle blows and the battle is on
Most of the game, the scoring was low
Needed a touchdown soon, we threw it to Sean

He caught the ball and ran it to the end zone description?
This touchdown would be the winning one
Our team celebrated in a triumphant tone
The bus ride back, we shared jokes and had some fun description?

The feeling of victory is oh so sweet
The greatest thrill that can never be beat



The only pay off for training vigorously for 12 months, non-stop is the reward of winning a game. The goal in every game created is to win. Especially in football, victory is so special because you work so hard to prepare for the games and you give it your all during the game. If you lose, you feel like you did all of that labor for nothing. You feel deflated, but if you win you are ecstatic, and you know that all the strenuous work you have done was well worth it. This poem, in particular, is about one of my football games from last year’s football season. We were playing a tough St. Louis team and the game was exciting to the very end. (weird ending)
The beginning lines of my sonnet talk about how whenever I step onto the football field, I mentally prepare for a game. It is like a war. I think of my team as my army fighting against the opposition, the cause we fight for is Punahou. Before I step on the field I question myself what is my assignment and what do I need to get done in this game. Then like a weathered veteran who has been in many battles before I think of this game, this battle, as a pleasure, not as a job that I was forced to do. Also, like in any army, I worked hard for this battle and this game and I am in it to win. I worked tedious hours every day, training to lead my team to victory, I cannot let all I have learned slip away from me. I need to use those skills and put them to work to win this thing.
The second part of this sonnet talks about the actual game. The defense held the offense to no points for both teams for the duration of the game. By about half time my teammates and I knew this was going to be a tough game. We went out the second half fired up and ready to demolish. However we were shutdown the whole third quarter and the score remained zero to zero. The fourth quarter started slow then about half way through it, the Crusaders kicked a field goal that put them up 3-0. We never lost hope and continued on in our fighting, trying to beat these guys. The final quarter was coming to an end and we need to score or we would lose the game. Our coach decided that we should give the ball to one of our playmakers and star wide receiver Sean McFadden. Sean was famous for his amazing catches that came at clutch situations such as the one at hand. He was getting shutdown all day but he was due for a big catch. We threw the ball up to him near the end zone and he caught it. He ran it to the end zone for the touchdown. His touchdown, which was the last one of the game, gave us the win. The greatest wins of all are the ones you have to work for. This game was very much so one of those games.
The final part of my sonnet talks about the sweet feeling of victory. Winning in any game at any level is always a good feeling. However you cannot slack off or avoid practice then expect to win a game. In football my team had to work very hard daily for nearly 5 months. All this work helped us to prepare for our win. Hard work also contributes to the excellent feeling of victory because you realize that all the work you put in really contributed to winning the game and your performance. However a team cannot win only. Good teams learn a lot not from winning lots of games, but actually by losing. By losing, they know what they have done wrong and they can adjust it. So no matter how discouraging losing is or how phenomenal winning is, losing a game is crucial for learning what you did wrong and becoming a better team or player. Although losing can teach you a lot, the bottom line is you always strive to win and when you capture it, it is the sweetest accomplishment of them all.

Kainoa,
Your subject was perfect for you, I could tell that football really means a lot to you. In your sonnet on lines 9 and 12 I found the words to not be quite descriptive enough, there wasn’t enough emotion. But over all you sonnet was great. In your analysis paper the ideas were good but I felt like you didn’t express them well so I changed some words and reordered some sentences for more flow. In your analysis you broke down your sonnet well but the only thing I would add is if your sonnet could expand and be a metaphor for other things in life. In the beginning of your paper you seemed to be focusing on training and how hard work and sacrifices gets you rewards, but then you ended your paper with how losing teaches you how to win. These ideas are slightly different could you smooth it out with a connection or something?
Awesome Job! Leilani Doktor

Score: 90

Analyzed Sonnet

Leilani Doktor
8:30 English
A Correlation or Infatuation
Your confidence is something to be admired
And no one doubts your physicality.
If t'were a man better, I'd most certain be inspired.
If only the world shadowed your perfect civility.
I have never been known to have low standards.
To others I can't disguise your insufficiency.
But my infatuation, twisted as a 1000 lanyards.
You've traveled the path to my heart with efficiency.
I've caught you stealing glances, signs of adoration?
I'm guilty; subtle looks-hints a complex feeling.
Do these scarce moments show a correlation?
Our upholding layers of insecurity peeling.
I've fallen hard and throwing my sense out the door.
Now I'm hoping you catch me before I hit the floor.






The Analyzation of A Correlation or Infatuation
The idea of my sonnet was love, and how in love you can't be logical you just have to follow your heart. I think that my sonnet is telling the story of a person who is arguing about all the insecurities in love. Even in all the obstacles such as other peoples opinions and her own inability to fall into love, she discovers that she just has to jump into the unknown and hope it all turns out ok.
In the first stanza the sonnet begins with praises of the person, because a person always wants to point out what they like in the other person. I started with what I noticed first in the person, his air and confidence. Then moved on to of course the obvious physical aspects of the guy, and in the last two lines I expressed how in a total package I admired him and wish that other people could be the same.
Then the sonnet flows into how even though she thinks so highly of this person others do not see why she is so deeply in love. Even through these taunts she comes out with how she can't help her feeling towards this guy. In the last stanza the poet expresses her insecurities in how the other person feels, and asks if they feel the same. These are feelings that happen in every love, and it is well know that there is going to be doubt in any relationship. This allows the sonnet to come the final conclusion that you cannot be sure if your love is reciprocated.
The last two lines of the sonnet are what really show the vulnerability and willingness of the poet. In flatly stating, "I've fallen hard" she is saying in the most open way that she really loves this person. Also the metaphor of throwing her sense out the door allows the reader to see that she is abandoning all her thought and any inhibitions, which is perfect for these emotions. But after allowing herself to be out there and so vulnerable just like any person in love the poet is hoping that her love will be reciprocated. I used the idea of falling in love from before to be reverberated in the last line by referring to being caught before I hit the floor, also allowing a little romantic flare of having the one you love catch you and be your support.
I tried to write this poem to echo what any person would feel in the beginning of a relationship, a certain amount of insecurity and some pure infatuation. This awe of a person is usually seen as puppy love or being blinded by love, but in some ways this innocent love is the lightest and most enjoyable to write about. Reading through the sonnet you can see and feel the certain emotion or idea running through each stanza. The lines go back and forth between this poet's love and her uncertainty. I tried to capture this but had a difficult time with the ten syllables, after many revisions I was able to cut down the poem to its bare bones, which I think helps bring out the emotions in each line and allows only the purest ideas to shine through. In the last two lines you can see the realization that the poet has, she realizes she can't be logical in love but just fall in love because love is something you need to take chances in and its well worth the risk.

Sonnet

A Correlation or Infatuation

Your confidence is something to be admired
And no one doubts your physicality's.
If t'were a man better, I'd most certain be inspired.
If only the world shadowed your perfect civilities.
I have never been known to have low standards.
Even lengthy praises, cannot silence taunts of your insufficiencies.
But my infatuation; twisted as a 1000 lanyards.
You've traveled the path to my heart with efficiency.
I've caught you stealing glances at me, signs of adoration?
I know I'm guilty; subtle looks; hints a complex feeling.
Do these scarce moments show a correlation?
Our upholding layers of insecurity are finally peeling.
My abandoned boldness has been regained; and I'm throwing my sense out the door.
I've fallen for you and all I can do is hope you catch me before I hit the floor.